Oh pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, Bringing torment and pain to others, Oh damned soul wallow

Oh pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, Bringing torment and pain to others, Oh damned soul wallowing in your sin...

i dont know why but this phrase seems to reach out and connect with me. I have come to understand that everyone I have ever come in contact with I have brought nothing but torment and pain. As i sit here all i can think about is me and how torn and broken I am. All I want is this to stop. I want it all to end. No matter how many people I save in my ambulance, no matter how many I try and guide with my own advice and words...it will never be enough. I have come to terms with this and i understand that my actions seem to have no effect on those i help. It really doesn't matter, they all die eventually and Im still broken. Why? Why cant i find what makes me truly happy and have it stay with me. There is no reason for me to even be here. No one cares what i say they only try and override my pain using theirs. I feel as though all of those i could trust have left. I burned those bridges long ago and all that remains are ashes. Am i just the ember that goes and burns and hurts all those who try and help me. Why is it so hard to trust anyone? I am truly useless. Maybe my biological grandmother has a better use for me. Thats all she wants anyways just to use me like everyone has. I guess that is my true purpose to be a helpful tool to help others or a vicious weapon to destroy my owners enemies. That is all i am is a weapon. I am a monster that needs to be put out of his misery. Maybe there is someone out there to save me, but so far that person has come and gone. 

You'll may die tryin

To change the world you start with one step, no matter how small. my life has changed so much in these past few years my ways of thinking, acting, and viewing the world. i used to look at the world with blinders on as it where and i only saw what those around me wanted to see. I went to the army and they removed the blinders and i was born again but this time into a world of violence and savagery. then i left the army and the same people tried to put the blinders back on but i refused. i revolted against them and ran away. three times i did this and finally they see that those tactics wouldnt work anymore. those people i lost long ago. I have been looking back on my life and everyone was moving forward and it seemed as though i was stuck in park until now. i have grown up and found out that i can change my world and even if it is a small change it is a change none the less. I feel as though I am ready to take on the new tasks ahead of me. i do miss those who where my friends but maybe i am better off this way. who knows i guess only time will tell how this story will play out.

I'm in love

I'm in love with somebody who I can never seem to have....ΑΩ

Currently Leave a Whisper By Shinedown Theres No More Love see related

Colder beyond the Sun

Currently Appeal To Reason By Rise Against Re-Education see related

Houdini's famous disappearing act